"because..."
A poem on video shared as part of my own healing and in support of survivors of r*pe and SA
Content Warning: SA, r*pe, boundary violation
(YouTube video description) (link after text)
“I wrote "because..." with an intention toward my own and community healing, as an expression of resistance to sexual assault, patriarchy and abuse. All too many people are harmed and hurt, primarily by cis het men (who carry the responsibility for at least 85% of commissions of violence across a wide spectrum). I intended this to help survivors be heard along with perpetrators being held accountable. I hope that is and continues to be an impact from this. It is a general and a personal statement of hurt, trauma, personal and social resistance and an alarm struck to illuminate the broad scope of the presence of sexual assault.
Sexual assault and rape happen across all categories of life and personal and cultural identities. It must be stopped. And though my assault happened within a relationship with a woman, it does not change the fact that there is a largely masculine-gendered context to how sexual assault is largely perpetrated. Patriarchy, misogynoir (thank you, Dr. Moya Bailey)/misogyny, domestic violence, men's entitlement and sexual harassment must be illuminated, resisted and stopped, along with the social and political systems and structures that aid and abet these broad and interpersonal abuses.
Consent culture must be talked about and (re-)created and sustained across all boundaries from the personal (intimate partner and inter-personal dynamics; see Brock Turner) to the political (i.e., capitalist oil pipelines being forcibly constructed on Indigenous lands).
....and there are too many survivors of sexual assault being created as we speak, in all age ranges. There are too many perpetrators. I invite all survivors (as a survivor) into any and all moments and spaces and processes of healing as is possible. I hope that you find some resonance and some sense of validation here and beyond. I invite friends, families, organizations and communities to be in radical, loving support of sexual assault survivors and in commitment to remove the many layers, the shrouds of shame that we directly and indirectly place over sexual assault survivors oftentimes coupled with systemic levels of permissiveness around (rape culture) and often unintended harboring and acceptance of perpetrators (perpetrators groom their communities and gaslight those they victimize).
I invite men, first, to gain greater insight, agency and voice with regard to our stories of sexual assault, whether recent or in our youth. I urge us to find safe, compassionate and helpful spaces to share and gain healing. I also invite and urge men in general to look deeply into how we, as a group, commit patriarchal, misogynoirist/misogynist, homophobic and transphobic violence and crime, how we benefit from, support and sustain systems of abuse and exploitation even as we are intrinsically limited and harmed by those systems. We have a lot of work to do.
I educate, present, consult and facilitate conversations on issues of consent, patriarchy, racism, social justice and culture. Reach out if you'd like to arrange a live reading and facilitated discussion about the content for young and adult men and other audiences.
Let's talk. And let's do the work.
Please visit https://linktr.ee/UkumbwaSautiConsultantEducator for more info about my work.
ukumbwa @ gmail . com
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network/RAINN, "the nation's [USAmerica] largest anti-sexual violence organization" - please visit this website for numerous kinds of information and support:
RAINN Online Hotline: https://hotline.rainn.org/online
National Sexual Assault Hotline 1-800-656-HOPE(4673):
https://nationaltoolkit.csw.fsu.edu/resource/national-sexual-assault-hotline-1-800-656-hope-4673/
1in6:
“The mission of 1in6 is to help men who have had unwanted or abusive sexual experiences live healthier, happier lives. Our mission also includes serving family members, friends, partners, and service providers by providing information and support resources on the web and in the community.” https://1in6.org/
The Network/La Red - 24 Hour Hotline:
"Our hotline is 24/7, free and confidential, for survivors of partner abuse in the LGBTQ, polyamorous and SM Communities. (800) 832-1901"
International Domestic Abuse Hotlines:
#BelieveSurvivors #IBelieveSurvivors #Consent #ConsentMatters #DVAwareness #MensWork #MenTakeNotice #MenHealingMen #WomenWaterPeace #EmpowerWomenAndGirls #DismantlePatriarchy #DismantleRacism #Misogynoir #MMIW #MMIWG #MMIWG2S #DoTheWork